Vegie Smugglers

Friend & foe.

Like a plumber with leaky pipes or a cleaner who lives in squalor, it would appear that I am teetering close to the word ‘hypocrite’.

You see on Miss F’s recent trip to the dentist, we discovered that she needed not one, but two fillings. Both in baby molars, but ones that need to stay put for another 3-4 years.

Turning up for our second appointment, I was primed and ready for the SCORN. Dentists specialise in it, don’t they? This dentist, who appears to be extremely nice, still couldn’t help but have a bit of a dig.

“So, we need to discuss her diet.”
Sigh. Heart sinks as I prepare for battle, because frankly, I’m a bit perplexed myself at how she’s managed to accrue TWO holes when I do what I do.

“Does she drink juice?”
No. No juice.
“Soft drink?”
Very rarely.
“Does she eat too many sweets?”
We both look at my skinny-mini daughter, who quite frankly could use a bit of fattening up, and it’s pretty evident that she doesn’t eat too many sweets.

But the inquisition continued.

“Does she eat fruit?”
“Well, yes.”
“Much fruit?”
I refrain from explaining that her name in blog-land is Miss Fruitarian, but concede that yes, she eats A LOT of fruit. Breakfast, fruit-break, recess, afternoon tea and sometimes dessert.

And there you have it. It turns out the problem is fruit. That and more generally the dawdling pace at which she eats. We have a joke about ‘Little Lulu bites’. She takes the tiniest bite and can make something last for an eternity. My mum will verify that one time she took AN HOUR to eat a Tim Tam. She can stretch a lolly bag out for several days, a bunch of grapes takes an entire afternoon and an ice block will have melted before she can finish it. From now on, after experiencing the joy of the dentist’s drill, she’s pledged to eat a whole lot faster.

DS (Dentist Scorn) shared the Lolly Bag policy that she enforces with her kids. You have until the car pulls up at home to eat the lot. After that it’s gone. And she really wishes that there wasn’t a ‘crunch & sip’ type breaks so close to recess. It’s just more hours of the day when sugars are dwelling near children’s teeth.

From now on, I’ve been ordered to supply carrot sticks, celery & capsicum sticks for one of these breaks. No more grapes or stone fruits. Also, I have to encourage the kids to rinse their mouths with water after they eat. Apparently sugar-free yoghurt is a good way to finish or a piece of cheese that will help to neutralise the sugars.

Sheesh. Perhaps calling myself hypocrite is a bit harsh, but it was a reminder that just like motherhood, healthy living is a complex beast and one that you often feel you can’t quite succeed at all the time.