My domestic sham EXPOSED!

Vegie smugglers banana bread recipe

A boon for modern housewifery, a recipe that relies on rotting ingredients.

Each year, Australians throw away $516 billion worth of food. That averages out to $616 per household. Usually I’m conscientious about this, but lately I’ve had to contend with THE ANTS.

In the last week THE ANTS have invaded and forced me to throw away brown sugar, 5 packets of pineapple/sultanas, flaked almonds, an olive loaf and 3 peaches (they were INSIDE!) They’re even into the peanut butter (we’re now just picking out the dead ones and plowing on regardless). No amount of vacumming, tidying, spraying, drowning or baits is getting rid of them.

They are making me feel like a slovenly housewife. They trail past, mocking my cleaning and trying to steal my ingredients.

And you see, it took a bit of coercing to convince my best-friend that I’d be better off working from home (for less money) and looking after everyone. We’d always been a strictly 50/50 feminist arrangement and shifting to more traditional roles was always going to be tricky for everyone. The new arrangement has been going well for a year now but these ANTS are giving me bad press. It’s depressing.

So let’s cheer ourselves up with cake. And let’s call it ‘bread’ to make ourselves feel less weak-willed. I know that none of us are under any delusions that banana ‘bread’ is healthy. It’s full of butter. But sometimes you just need sweets and if you do, then ease your conscience with a tonne of bananas, dates and walnuts (which are apparently, one of the best plant sources of protein).

Even better, this recipe is actually a congratulations to all of you fellow slovenly housewives who have allowed your bananas to droop and brown. A friend (and master baker) confided recently that the secret to her ‘bread’ was to wait until the bananas are practically liquid. There are not many ingredients and recipes that require you to be quite so domestically impeded. Enjoy.

(The best) banana bread

1½ cups self-raising flour
½ cup brown sugar, firmly packed
½ cup dates, chopped
½ cup walnuts, chopped
100g butter, melted
2 eggs, beaten
4 over-ripe bananas, mashed

Preheat the oven to 180C. Grease a 14x20cm loaf tin and line the bottom with baking paper.

Sift the flour into a large mixing bowl. Stir through the sugar, dates and walnuts.

Pour over the butter and mix through. Add the eggs and mashed banana. Mix until combined (don’t overmix).

Spoon into the loaf tin. Bake for about 50-55 minutes until a skewer comes out clean (cover with foil if it starts to brown too much around the 40 minute mark).

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15 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Loved this post and currently have about 48 bananas crying out to be made into *ahem ‘bread’ from! Off to do some early morning baking, thanks for the inspiration!

  2. 2

    Cheryl said,

    Have you tried baby powder (for the ants that is) put it along the trail or where you find them and at least it is relatively harmless in the kitchen.
    Thanks now I want banana bread for breakfast!

  3. 4

    Jenna Somerville said,

    I’m a banana bread addict. Thanks can’t wait to give to recipe a try!!

  4. 5

    Jenna Somerville said,

    for GF version just replace with self raising GF flour! Perfect!!

  5. 6

    Jo Brosnan said,

    This looks like a really easy recipe…my favourite type 🙂 And if you don’t have time to make the banana bread right away, chuck the bananas in the freezer. When they defrost they are totally disgusting…but hardly need to be mashed…they just fall apart.

  6. 10

    Angela said,

    What about tea tree or eucalyptus oil? Wipe it around where they are and they stay away. Also makes your house smell nice. Sometimes though, just nothing works!!

  7. 11

    Erin said,

    I’ve actually resorted to poisoning the ants… I’m generally not a big fan of poison in the home, but I do hate having ants around! I get the Mortein “baits” (ie. the poison is contained within a little plastic thing so the kids don’t eat it). Works within a couple of days.

  8. 12

    Jane said,

    Making this with the kindy kids tomorrow – our corner shop has narnies for $2 a box at the moment and one parent bought us 3 boxes. Seems like all the parents will be getting a loaf tomorrow arvo!

  9. 13

    Anne said,

    send a few of your ants to your local Ag Dept for identification and species specific treatment tips! Just use sticky tape to attach them to a piece of paper – WA Agriculture Dept does it, so I am assuming other stated offer a similar (free!) service. And I agree ’bout the frozen bananas, although I seem to have quite a few in the freezer at the momen waiting for the fairies to turn them into bread/cake 😉

  10. 14

    Sarah said,

    We have an ants problem too!!! And NOTHING works. We’re just taking the head in the sand approach now and ignoring them. Thank God for tupperware, because it has made most of my pantry inaccessible so we aren’t really losing anything now

  11. 15

    Kelly said,

    I made this today, the boys did not wait until it was 10 minutes out of the oven before eating, awesome


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