Hang up your keyboards; I’m doing the searching for you

You never really know what’s going on in the back of people’s minds, do you? There you are chatting away about the weather and you have no idea where their subconscious is actually dwelling. Being fairly simple myself, I tend to take people at face value, but as I trawl through the Vegie Smugglers’ statistics, evidence is building that I’m terribly naive.

Amongst my search term records I get little glimpses of the strange urges that people hide in gentile society. For every bona fide, lovely mum typing ‘how to hide vegetables in meals’ into Google, there’s some weirdo lurking, typing ‘puff pastry toilet seat’. Quite how that search term directs them to my site is an interesting look at how Google jumbles posts together in odd ways. Sure, I’ve written about both ‘puff pastry’ and ‘toilet seats’, but I’m fairly sure not on the same day, and definitely not as ‘puff pastry toilet seat’.

Since this post, I get a lot of folks directed to me who have searched for ‘asses’ and ‘jeans’. And this post always ends up with those stoned teens folks wanting to know how to ‘smuggle shrooms’. I guess they’ve hit ‘I’m feeling lucky’ and are no doubt now quite confused and disappointed.

Sometimes though, there are clear winners amongst the search terms. So in the same way that Deadly 60 can create about 45 extra episodes of behind-the-scenes footage recut as ‘Scariest Sea Monsters’, while I’m off on holidays, this post is an edit of the recipes that get searched for the most.

This is my most searched for recipe - chicken sausage rolls!

This is still my most searched for recipe – ‘lentil sausage rolls’.

Tuna pasta bake recipe hiding corn, zucchini, carrot and capsicum

‘Tuna pasta bake’.

Chickpea cookies

‘Chickpea cookies’.

Vegie quesadillas

‘Quesadillas’.

Slow cooker chicken satay

‘Slow cooker chicken satay’.

Anzac Biscuits

‘Anzac Biscuits+treacle’.

slow cooker pea and ham soup

‘Slow cooker pea ham soup’

Start simple. Here.

‘Tinned spaghetti recipe’.

Malaysian food for kids

‘Malaysian food for kids’.

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Muffin mania

Geez I make muffins a lot. Probably once a week. Possibly because I’m too lazy to cut up a whole cake (and also the fact that my oven is too crappy to cook a whole cake well). I love the fact that with minimal kitchen skills I can create so many varying culinary delights. They can be savoury for lunch, as a side dish with a soup, or of course, sweet and fantastic for lunchboxes and afternoon tea. You can make luscious large ones, mini ones that freeze well for lunchboxes or use pattie pans to make ‘muffin tops’ that look nice and large but are actually only a small amount of batter.

Since they’re so simple to make, you can get the kids onto cooking them and quite possibly they’ll stay focused for the entire recipe before getting bored and wandering off to cause destruction elsewhere.

Here’s a selection to try this week, while the kids are looking for things to do…

Cheese muffins

Cheese & vegie.

vegie smugglers choc chip almond and banana muffin

Choc chip, almond & banana.

Ready for this arvo & tomorrow (if there are any left).

Oat & berry.

vegie smugglers apple and sultana mini muffins

Apple & sultana muffin tops.

An all time favourite - chocolate, bran & zucchini

Chocolate, bran & zucchini.

What other flavour combos are popular in your house?

We also like strawberry muffins (from Vegie Smugglers 1), Cheese & ham muffins (from Vegie Smugglers 2) and Blueberry muffins (from 10 quickbakes/10 sandwich spreads).

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What’s your secret?

pens

Do you have a dirty little secret? I’ve got a few. Like this secret pen stash. So sick am I of having my stationery pinched that I’ve had to resort to hiding it away from the prying eyes of my family.

Also, I’m having a bit of a secret EOFYS sale. You can shop at the Vegie Smugglers store and receive 10% off everything before June 28, midnight. Just enter discount code EOFYS10.

What do you think of my girlfriend who has a secret credit card? (Just so that her husband can’t put an exact dollar value onto her personal purchases.) Do you think it’s ok to keep a financial secret from your spouse? I actually think this is a pretty big secret.

Much more innocently, today’s recipe has secret vegetables. As do all my recipes. I like my kids to eat healthy and develop an enjoyment of savoury flavours without too much fuss. Sure, they eat lots of recognisable vegies too, but sometimes a few secrets are ok.

Since these wontons are a bit fiddly to make, they seems like a perfect recipe for the school holidays. Get that dextrous child labour those gorgeous children of yours to help you out.

The kids will have fun wrapping these.

Get the kids onto wrapping these.



Basic Pork Wontons

This recipe uses half a supermarket tray of mince. Feel free to make a double batch and freeze half of the mixture raw, ready to wrap and steam another day.

2 spring onions, roughly chopped
3 button mushrooms
½ carrot, peeled
3 garlic cloves, peeled
2cm piece fresh ginger, peeled
1 tbsp fish sauce
2 tsp sweet chilli sauce
250g pork mince
Packet of 30 gow gee (or wonton) wrappers

Use a food processor or mini food processor to blitz together the vegies, garlic, ginger and sauces.

Add in the mince and blitz to a paste. Scoop heaped teaspoons of mixture into the centre of your wrapper. Use a finger dipped in water to wet half the circle, fold over and press well to form a seal.

Bring a saucepan of water to a strong simmer. Steam dumplings over it in a steamer basket or tray for 8-10 minutes until cooked through.

Serve these as is with soy sauce or in an Asian-style broth with some other vegies.

MAKES 30

No food processor? Just finely chop, grate and mix ingredients in a bowl.

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The Vegie Smugglers promise to you [insert toothy smile & a wink]

Regardless of being on my best behaviour lately, it seems that I court Facebook trouble at every turn. Perhaps it is a special knack I have for pissing people off, or a general inability to keep my mouth shut.

I think I’m tired of it though, and need a rest. So from now on, I promise you that I will no longer use any of the following words online…

Fat.
Fat people.
Fat kids.
Overweight.
Obese.
Controlled-crying.
Bottle-feeding.
Smacking.
Jesus.
God.
Julia Gillard.
Teachers.

I think that just about does it. There will be no insinuations about fat kids being fat because they eat too much of the wrong food, or judgements about mothers in supermarkets. Instead my pages will be filled with stories about cute puppies, photos of babies in ladybird costumes and the recipes will be selected by you, not me.

Which is why this week, we’re eating potato bake. You chose it.

Now… (she says, tapping the table with her fingertips) with everything running without controversy, what will I do with the rest of my day?

vegie-smugglers-pasta-bake

Potato (& sweet potato) bake

1 kg potato (I use 700g regular waxy potatoes and 300g kumura or sweet potato)
300ml cream
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 small onion, grated
½ cup Parmesan cheese
¾ cup grated cheddar cheese

Preheat the oven to 180C. Spray an oven dish with spray oil or rub with butter.

Combine the cream, garlic, onion, Parmesan and ½ cup of the cheddar. Set aside.
Thinly slice your potatoes (be patient and use a sharp knife, OR use a mandolin slicer).

Layer potato over the bottom of the dish, drizzle over some of the cream mixture, then do a layer of sweet potato. Repeat the process with another layer of potato, then the sweet potato then finish off with regular potato. Pour over all the rest of the cream, top with ¼ cup cheddar cheese.

Bake for about 1¼ hours until cooked through. (Cover with foil if it starts to burn before then).

Serves 2 adults & 2 kids

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The Youtube culinary institute…

Armed and (mildly) dangerous.

Armed and (mildly) dangerous.

I never hide the fact that I’m not a trained chef. Considering my recipes are all for everyday family life, I’ve actually considered my lack of formal training to be a bit of an advantage. It means that my cookbooks are full of recipes that can be cooked by anyone – I never make an assumption that you know how to make a roux or whip up pastry.

But as I’ve cooked more and more, I’ve obviously gotten pretty good in the kitchen and as I’ve built confidence, I’ve given myself more challenges. Whenever I want to tackle something I’m unsure of, I’ll just do a search online and find some instructional video that gives me the confidence to HAVE A GO (ya mug).

The quality of online videos varies wildly, from the great to the hideous, so in the interest of giving you a red hot go in the kitchen, here are some links to good videos showing you how to tackle some everyday kitchen skills…

The basis of nearly every dinner – how to dice an onion.

If you love making casseroles in your slow cooker, you might want to know how to cut up a raw chicken into eight pieces. If that makes you squeamish, you might prefer this video – how to carve a roast chicken, which is also handy (mine never look like this!).

Have a perfect ‘mom’ moment by knowing how to perfectly cream butter and sugar.

Then you might want to separate eggs. And then of course you’ll need to know how to beat eggwhites. (You can also watch this one in Italian, just for something a bit exotic).

Take your patisserie skills even further and learn how to make choux pastry. If you’re feeling like pickling some pickles or jamming some jam, you’ll need to know how to sterilise jars. And for the ultimate Donna-Hay-presentation-moment, here’s five ways to finish your pie crusts.

For a bit of celebrity, here Gordon Ramsey cooks a cheese sauce. And here Curtis Stone shows us when fish is cooked (and let’s face it, we’ll avidly watch pretty Curtis do pretty much anything).

For lovers of japanese food, here is how to cook perfect sushi rice. And finally, a wacky one from my favourite Youtube channel – Cook with Dog. How to make a bento box.

Happy learning!

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My kiddult’s favourite chicken pasta

Pokemon cards still reign at VSHQ.

Pokemon cards still reign at VSHQ.

It’s mid-year toy sale time again and the house has been flooded with catalogues full of crap that the kids had never heard of yesterday but are now DESPERATE to own. Things have been circled and bookmarked. Much discussion is taking place during every spare minute about how the toys will integrate seamlessly into our home.

The thing is though, my kids don’t actually spend much time playing with toys. Lego is still popular, and Pokemon cards have been all the rage but apart from that it’s all drawing and craft. Between netball practice, swimming lessons and homework there isn’t much down time. Fridays they get to play unlimited PS3 and then on weekends they’re having play-dates and family adventures.

At a school dinner last night, there was interesting chat about how childhood and adulthood are crashing together. Kids seem to believe in Santa for longer (thanks to all the technology making him so real), they’re under close supervision for years longer than we were and Government guidelines promote the mollycoddling culture (did you know that they aren’t even supposed to cross a road alone until they’re 10?). But then it’s just a few months before they’re off to buy bras, join Facebook and start getting down with the opposite sex (48.4% of boys and 46.3% of girls aged 15-19 have had oral sex. – US source here.)

No wonder teens are so stressed out – we’ve got them wrapped in cotton wool for so long and then we unleash them (mostly unsupervised) into such a complicated digital world. As I read on facebook the other day, “the best thing about being over 40 is that we did all our dumb stuff before Facebook”.

With worlds colliding and them growing up so fast, let’s take the time to enjoy them now. While I generally aim for meals that please the whole family, this recipe is much more popular with my kids than myself. But sometimes that’s ok – especially when I’m greeted with the simple joy of an empty bowl at the end of dinnertime.

My kids both adore this dinner.

I add parsley, rocket and olives to mine.

My kids’ favourite chicken pasta

250g pasta (I use the large spirals for this)
1 1/2 cups small cauliflower florets
500g chicken thigh fillets, sliced (you can use breast meat – but it will end up drier)
175g bacon, diced
1 onion, diced
3 clove garlic, crushed
1 zucchini, grated
1 cup mushrooms, finely chopped
2 tbsp parsley and/or chives
1 tbsp plain flour
2 cups good quality chicken stock, with 1 tbsp Dijon mustard mixed in
1 cup peas
Pepper
Parmesan (or cheddar) cheese

Cook the pasta according to packet instructions and set aside.

Place the cauliflower in a microwave-proof bowl, add in a splash of water, cover and microwave on high for a minute until mostly cooked. Set aside.

Heat a large saucepan over medium/high heat. Add the oil and when hot, toss in the chicken and saute it, stirring often until just cooked through (this takes about 5-7 minutes for thigh meat, less for breast meat). Remove and set aside.

Reheat the pan and add in the bacon and onion. Cook, stirring for 2-3 minutes until the onion is soft and the bacon cooked. Add in the garlic for 30 seconds before tossing in all the vegies (except the peas) and the herbs. Stir really well for 2-3 minutes.

Scatter over the flour, and quickly combine it in (you don’t want any lumps, obviously). Cook that off for a minute, then gradually add in the hot, combined stock/mustard, stirring constantly.

Return the chicken to the pan, bring it to a good strong simmer and keep it simmering until it’s a nice glossy thick mix (about 4-5 minutes). Taste and add salt & pepper (I think this dish needs a lot of both).

Stir in the peas and pasta. Heat them through then serve topped with grated cheese and even more pepper and parsley for the adults.

Serves 2 adults and 4 kids.

FREE-SHIPPING2

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Winter is coming…

Ok, yes, it’s a ‘Game of Thrones’ reference. After sitting through the first season of gore, blood, betrayal and beheadings, I’ve opted out of seasons 2 & 3. Mr VS is disappointed, but gallantly soaking up the next episodes without me (then reporting in with full step-by-step plot updates, complete with actions).

While the blood was a bit much, I did relate to the tension and foreboding over the upcoming Winter. I mean really, who LIKES winter? No one in Sydney, where the houses aren’t heated properly and we all sit about shivering our bums off for a few months. But while the Seven Kingdoms prepare for an unknown winter that may last a lifetime, I’m feeling more optimistic about one that lasts about 10 weeks. Especially with a stash of recipes that warm my soul and tide me over until the jasmine vines all start to flower.

Here are some of my favourites (click the pics to link through to the recipes)…

vegie smugglers chicken curry recipe

Chicken curry.

vegie smugglers pumpkin and lentil soup recipe

Pumpkin, corn & lentil soup.

chicken and tarragon one pot winter warmer by vegie smuggers

Chicken & tarragon one-pot.

Vegie Smugglers boston baked beans

Boston baked beans.

Stewed apples.

Stewed apples.

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June giveaway (and why I love bread)

Wasn’t there a lot of pressure a while back to give up bread? I was still working in magazine-land at the time and naught a model nor stylist nor photographer would DARE have it pass their lips (but then joyously they discovered QUINOA and were saved from the evil rampaging of processed carbs).

Me? I’ve always loved bread and have never had issues with it. A warm crusty baguette is pretty much as good as life gets. Sourdough downright seduces me and I find it IMPOSSIBLE to walk through Townhall station without grabbing a Luneburger loaf.

In the burbs I’ve always been happy with Bakers Delight bread, particularly the cape seed and the hi-fibre, low-GI white, which is a great option for the kids. So when they got in touch and asked to team up I was more than happy. You can see my recipes on their website here

In return, they’ve given me a bunch of prizes for my June giveaway. Up for grabs are two vouchers for $40 each and 5 kids merchandise packs which include a ruler, pencil case, pencils & lunch bag.

To enter you must be in Australia and you must be a Vegie Smugglers subscriber. Check out the Bakers Delight website and then comment below about which of their products is your favourite and what you like to do with it (stay nice!).

I’ll start… this is what I do with a slice of low-GI white…

Bread tart cases.

Bread tart cases.

Easy egg tarts

Cut a big round of bread from a slice, push it into a greased muffin tin, spray with oil and grill until a bit golden. Then pop in some prosciutto and cherry tomato before cracking in an egg (in a smaller muffin hole, you won’t fit all the egg-white). Then bake until set to your liking and sprinkle over salt, pepper, parmesan and parsley.

And there you have it, a gorgeous, quite posh looking egg tart, done with the minimum of fuss. Your turn…

Entries close Sunday June 23 at 8pm, AEST. **COMP NOW CLOSED. CONGRATULATIONS TO VANESSA & JILL WHO WON THE VOUCHERS AND TO SUSIE, CAROLINE, DEB, JOANNE & ALLISON WHO WON THE MERCHANDISE PACKS.

Comments (53) »

A simple (gluten-free) mix and bake

Is there anything better than a dinner that gets mixed up in one bowl, then pressed into one tin and cooks in one oven? Perhaps only the addition of Bono, sitting up on the benchtop in his onesie, belting out a little acapella version of ‘One’ while I sip one wee glass of vino while I’m wearing my onesie. That’d be nice, if a little weird.

If you’re free Bono, pop over tonight and we’ll whip this zucchini slice up together.

One piece.

Just one piece.

Zucchini & rice slice (Gluten free)

There’s no smuggling going on here really, since pretty much the whole dish IS vegies. Smuggling vegies within vegies…

2 zucchinis, grated
1 carrot, peeled, grated
4 spring onions, finely sliced
125g can corn kernels, drained
1 cup cooked rice (white or brown) – I always make extra rice whenever I’m cooking a stir-fry, so I can make stuff like this the next day
2-3 tbsp fresh chives and/or parsley, finely chopped (optional)
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 cup grated cheddar cheese (plus extra for the top)
1/2 cup mild feta, crumbled
4 eggs, lightly whisked

Preheat the oven to 190C. Line a 20x30cm slice tin with baking paper.

In a large bowl, combine everything well. Press the mixture into the tin, top with a handful of grated cheese and bake for 30 minutes until set.

Serves 2 adults and 2 kids

________________

Like this recipe? Why not try out my Baked tuna & tomato rice.

summer-sale-square

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Social media etiquette and a simple breakfast idea

Let's keep in mind that we all love our kids and are all doing our best.

Let’s keep in mind that we all love our kids and are all doing our best.

Last week’s Facebook battle was a bit of a doozy. I won’t lie – I didn’t walk away from it unscathed. There’s no need to rehash the topic but it did make me realise two things.

1. I need a formal social media etiquette policy.

I love debating stuff. Being forced to defend my stance does help to cement my reasoning. And sometimes one of you will present a fabulous argument that makes me change my mind. When people are too fixed to consider the alternative views then it’s not really a debate or discussion, it’s an argument. And for some reason, arguments on the Internet are vicious and full of personal attacks. And that’s not fun for anyone. Which is why I’ve written this policy…
___________________

When I comment on Vegie Smugglers pages, I will try to…
* Be real & genuine

Please treat my blog and Facebook page like the real world. Despite the fact I post under a blog name, I am a real person and I’m venturing online with the same spirit with which I approach my whole life. I’m connecting with people, talking to them, forming friendships and having interesting conversations.

* Be open minded

Enjoy chatting to people here who are different to your regular circle of friends. Share information; feel free to passionately state your case in a considered and rational way. Then read and discover the other opinions. Foster empathy and understanding of others.

* Admit mistakes & be thoughtful
So if you wouldn’t say something in real life, don’t say it on my page. And if you do say nasty stuff then shame on you, apologise! If you do it more than once then you’re not welcome here and will be banned.

* Have fun

Please enjoy the Vegie Smugglers pages. Enjoy sharing your opinions in considered and passionate ways. Help each other, make friends and learn something new.
___________________

2. Now, the other thing that last week’s discussion did was strengthen my resolve around this whole vegie-smuggling thing.

The more I work on my business, the more passionate I get about helping people make little changes that will improve their lives.

For me, food is the foundation of everything. Good food enriches your soul. It leads to good health, which leads to positive behaviours, enthusiasm and motivation for life.

Perhaps it sounds silly but I really believe that introducing new ingredients and finding new healthy meals that your family can enjoy together will improve your life. By making good food choices you’ll feel better about yourself, you’ll improve the health outcomes and behaviour of your children and create a positive environment. And your life will just be that bit more interesting.

Regular readers will know that I am not even nearly fanatical about anything. A bit of white flour, sugar and wine can enrich our souls too. But I will always discourage consistently lazy eating habits. Considering that childhood obesity is still increasing, I’m committed to doing whatever I can to help families make good choices.

Here’s an example of what I mean. You can buy sachets of quick oats in the supermarket. They’re expensive and the flavourings taste a bit weird, but they’re easy. How about instead, buy the plain box of quick oats. They only take 30 seconds longer to cook. Then sprinkle this powder over the top. The result is an aroma that will make you swoon, some sneaky nutrition and a little bit of magic to make you smile first thing in the day. From soulless to spectacular with the minimum of fuss.

Magic powder to make your day awesome.

Magic powder to make your day awesome.


Magic Morning Powder

1/2 cup LSA mix
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon

Mix together and sprinkle 1-2 teaspoons over your steaming hot porridge.

Thanks for stopping by.

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