Posts tagged recipe

3 words that make me horny?

Sifting through my inbox lately, I’ve noticed that the spam has phased back into the traditional style from the start-of-the-internet, all concerned with penis size, orgasms and my libido. For a few years there, I was inundated with lovely Russian women who were looking for my friendship and then all the ‘banks’ were sending me .exe files that contained critical financial information. All I had to do was open and enter my pin. But now, we’re back to sex basics.

However, without even opening the “3 words that make her horny” message, I’ve got a feeling that the email creator is giving the male population a bum steer with poorly researched advice. Unless the spammer is an overwhelmed and under appreciated wife & mother, who does actually know that the three words that make us horniest are when our partner yells from the kitchen, “dishes are done”. Or when he’s got other helpful things to say, like “dishwasher is unpacked”, “kids are clean” or “you keep sleeping”. With Christmas looming the phrase list expands exponentially. Now it includes, “presents are wrapped”, “turkey is cooked” and “it’s from Tiffany’s”. THOSE little 3-word-phrases do get my knickers all twisted, indeed.

In the spirit of international spice, and three-word phrases, here’s this week’s recipe…

Egyptian Baked Chicken

vegie smugglers egyptian chicken

Just an instagram snap, I’m afraid, no time for fancy photos this week.

Feeds: 2 adults & 2 small kids, when served on rice or cous cous
Timings: 10-15 minutes prep. Marindate all day, 5 minutes to chop veg & 40 minutes baking.
Allergies: this is gluten, egg & sugar free, there are sesame seeds in zatar.
Substitutions: Spring onions, shallots, green beans, potatoes, sweet potatoes, zucchini would all work. Use whichever your kids like.
Freeze: No.
Prep ahead: Yes. You can marinade everything all together in the morning and just chuck it in the oven when you need to cook.
Why I like i
t: Marinade is quick to prepare and I can get it ready in the morning before work. Suits the days when I’m just getting home later in the afternoon. And the kids love to munch on a bit of crispy chicken skin.
Smuggling rating: 2/10 – the vegetables are mostly on show.

Marinade:
1 onion
1/2 fennel
1/2 lemon (juice & zest)
2-3 cloves garlic
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp za’atar (a MIddle Eastern spice mix that contains sesame seeds, thyme, oregano, salt & sumac) – OR if you don’t have any premixed, just add whatever combination of these spices you do have in the cupboard)

700g chicken wing nibbles (these are chicken wings with the point end taken off).
2 large carrots, peeled, cut into sticks
1 red capsicum, cut into 2-3cm squares
1/2 cup frozen peas

To serve: cous cous or rice, coriander, parsley, lemon wedges

Use a mini food processor to blitz together all the marinade ingredients.

Add the chicken to a glass baking dish, pour the marinade over the make sure everything is nicely coated. Cover and refrigerate for as long as you’ve got (an hour is ok, all day long is better).

Preheat the oven to 200C. Uncover the chicken, mix through the carrots and capsicum. Bake for a total of about 40 minutes, turning once about 25-30 minutes into cooking.

Remove from the oven and scatter over the peas (the heat will thaw them).

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Halloween pumpkin…. in a cake

It is the week where orange food rules. I don’t know about your place, but Halloween has seeped into our household over the last few years and I’m happy this year that it falls on a Friday night. It means that we can all potter off to a dress up party together for a bit of fun rather than trawling the streets looking for the rare orange balloon that signifies that the occupants won’t freak out if we knock.

In previous years my kids have been super keen for a bit of trick or treating… until we get to the strange driveway… then all gumption leaves them and they start crying, too afraid to approach the door. Of course then they pester and want me to do it for them, but being a mean mum, I merely point out that following this imported tradition is THEIR idea, and if they can’t knock on the door, they don’t deserve any treat.

Tough love, and delivered whilst wearing a witches hat. Cackle.

Inevitably our lolly haul is small and we end up home earlier than anticipated with the night being more fraught than fright.

So a batch of these waiting in the kitchen might come in handy…

The ghosts look desirous, don't you think?

The ghosts look desirous, don’t you think?

Halloween pumpkin cakes

Most kids I’ve tried these on have liked them – although a few were vehemently anti-sultana, which is why I’m suggesting a choc chip substitution. I’ve not tried it, but I reckon it would get them over the line with most junior food critics.

2 eggs
1/4 cup oil of your choice (I use grapeseed, but coconut, olive oil etc are all fine)
1/2 cup Greek yoghurt
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar (be generous)
1 1/2 cups self-raising flour
1 tsp mixed spice
2 cups grated pumpkin (if you hate grating, just blitz small pumpkin chunks in a mini-food processor)
1/2 cup sultanas (or choc chips)

Heat the oven to 180C. Line a 12-hole muffin tray with paper cases.

Whisk the eggs well in a large bowl. Tip in the oil and yoghurt and whisk to combine before doing the same with the brown sugar.

Remove the whisk and sift over the flour and mixed spice. Use a metal spoon to fold through, then also combine in the pumpkin and sultanas.

Divide the mixture between the 12 muffin holes and bake for 22-25 minutes until golden and springy.

Makes 12.

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Why I can’t manage healthy eating all the time

Keeping all the nutrition balls in the air at all times is a task that is often too large for me (I suspect it’s too large for most modern parents). I mean, hot damn, if there isn’t a bunch of tasks clawing at us from different directions at all times keeping the domestic tension rising. It makes sense that the pressure escapes in the areas where you have the most options. So while skiving off work or dropping the kids to school at 10.15 isn’t an option, dashing into the supermarket and buying something ready-to-eat out of the packet, is.

So I get it, I really do, the fact that keeping a house full of 100% healthy food is a tricky task that is only achievable with consistent motivation and effort. Which is why I try to keep my blog pretty accessible. I’m not asking you to ferment, or make your cheese or activate nuts or only eat organic. Gold stars to all of you who do manage to do all of this – if you could please pop over and let me know all of your time management secrets; I’d be hugely appreciative.

At my place, I cook as much as I can. I consider but don’t obsess over ingredients and I do try to stand back and get an overview of our diet from time to time. Inevitably little areas of slackness have arisen that I can squish back down with some simple changes and easy recipes.

One area I get lazy with is savoury crackers. There are several brands that aren’t full of additives (yes I know, they’re all full of masses of salt), so a packet of them in the pantry can be a lifesaver. BUT, they’re not really full of anything much at all. No rubbish, but also no nutrition. And considering how popular they are with the kids as an after-school snack, it’s worth the 10 minutes it takes to mix and press out this homemade version. Just happens that this recipe is gluten and egg-free, although I like it just because these crackers are seriously tasty.

Seed crackers - nut free, so perfect for lunchboxes, too.

Seed crackers – nut free, so perfect for lunchboxes, too.

SEEDY CRACKERS

1 cup besan flour (chickpea flour, available from good fruit markets and health food stores)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tsp spice (I like 1/2 tsp garlic powder & 1/2 tsp cumin, but you can try paprika, sumac, coriander or zatar)
1 tbsp fresh herbs (I like rosemary & thyme)
4 tbsp seeds (any combination you like of sesame, flax, poppy, sunflower, pumpkin & chia)
1 tbsp olive oil
1/4 cup water

Preheat oven to 170C.

In a large bowl, mix the flour, salt, spices, herbs & seeds.

Tip in the olive oil, the gradually add enough water until the mix comes together to form a sticky dough.

Roll it out between a couple of sheets of kitchen paper until about 3-5mm thick (if you don’t have a rolling pin, just press it out with your hand). Remove the top sheet. Score with a knife and place on a large baking sheet. Cook for 20-22 minutes until golden.

Cool before breaking into pieces.

Makes about 20 pieces

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My latest (gluten-free) can’t-be-bothered dinner

I’ve had a couple of weeks of working four days a week and it’s always a good reminder about the challenges that working parents face. Finding the time to whip up a healthy dinner when you’re struggling in late with wretched kids, lunchboxes to clean and repack, clothes to wash and life to organise is hard.

By later in the week I’m grateful for a dinner of wine and a carrot, but surprisingly enough the kids aren’t as keen on this combination. They want, you know, like food that tastes nice and fills up their tired bones after a few days of racing about. So this dinner has been making a few appearances. It’s my latest favourite-thing-to-do-with-a-BBQ-chicken (see my previous favourite here). Mix up a super easy salad and wrap it and some chicken in a rice paper roll and you’re done. Once you get the knack they’re easy to do. Watch this video if you don’t know how.

Another advantage of this dish is you can make them and store them in the fridge, perfect for those nights when people are coming and going and need to eat on the run. AND they are still ok the next day, which makes them a pretty great gluten-free lunchbox addition.

vegie smugglers BBQ chicken rice paper rolls

A bit of dipping sauce and you’re away!

BBQ chicken rice paper rolls

1/2 BBQ chicken – bones removed & discarded
2 cups shredded iceberg lettuce
1 carrot, peeled, grated
1/2 cup fennel, finely shredded
125g corn kernels, drained
1/3 cup mayonnaise
Juice 1/2 lemon
Pepper

Rice papers

In a large bowl, combine the lettuce, carrot, fennet, corn, mayo and lemon juice.

Soak a rice paper in warm water for 10-20 seconds until pliable. Place on your chopping board. Pile about a 1/4 cup of salad onto the paper. Top with chicken (adults might like coriander & vietnamese mint). Roll up (watch the video link above if you don’t know how). Eat.

Makes 12.

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Meat-lover’s pasta bake

If you’re vegetarian, skip this post and just click here for a vegetarian pasta bake recipe. Everyone else can stick around to enjoy this carnivorous dinner which feeds an army and keeps pasta-loving kids extremely happy.

The secret ingredient in this dish is… pate…. yes that’s right, chicken livers. I kid you not, a dollop of the stuff mixes through the sauce and after simmering and baking gives the most delish-but-can’t-quite-pinpoint-what-it-is flavour. If you’re unsure how your family will take to it, start with just a tablespoon and see how they go.

And the reason for including a random bit of offal? Iron deficiency can be a major problem for kids, often undiagnosed, causing lethargy and a range of other issues. The best way to avoid it is by eating iron-rich foods. A fantastic source of iron is liver, but there is almost zero chance that anyone born after 1965 will cook with it. Reflecting this, even buying it can be tricky, with it being phased out of supermarkets over the past few years. (Specialty chicken shops will usually stock them).

Even for me, an occasional pate is the only time I cook with livers. So as a challenge, I originally worked up this recipe using them, tossed in with the mince. It’s tasty and really economical and if your family enjoys the flavour then you might want to give that variation a try.

But I figured the number of liver-lovers was minimal and I hate posting recipes that no one will try, which is why I’ve substituted the pate instead. It’s a good way to introduce the flavour to see if it’s an ingredient you might be able to incorporate more of in the future.

One for the carbivore/carnivores

One for the carbivore/carnivores

Meat-lover’s pasta bake

500g pasta
1 tbsp olive oil
1 red onion
3 cloves garlic, crushed
500g veal/pork mince mix
1 carrot, peeled, grated
1 cup mushrooms, very finely diced
1/2 green capsicum, finely diced
50-100g chicken liver pate (remove any jelly topping. Or make your own basic pate from the recipe in my latest cookbook)
800g can chopped tomatoes
Bay leaf
1 1/2 cups grated cheese (pizza mix is good)

Cook the pasta according to packet directions, set aside.

Preheat the oven to 180C. Grease an extra large lasagne dish – the one I use is 28x32x6cm (or use two smaller ones)

Heat the oil in a frying pan over med/high heat. Fry the onion for 3-4 minutes until starting to soften. Add the garlic for 30 seconds or so until fragrant. Tip in mince. Use your spoon to break up all the lumps in the mix and keep everything moving well.

Once the meat is all browned, add in the carrot, mushies and capsicum. Stir through the pate and add the can of tomatoes. Combine really well, add the bayleaf and bring to a simmer. Lower the heat, cover and leave it cooking for 15-20 minutes.

Pour the sauce through the cooked pasta. Season well, mix in 1 cup of cheese. Tip it into your lasagne dish, top with the rest of the cheese and bake for 20 minutes until golden.

Serves 2 adults and 6-8 kids (leftovers make great lunches)

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Egg-free chocolate bran bars

This week we dive into the final term of school and I do like to make something a bit special for the kid’s lunchboxes. I guess my motivation level to bake is higher at this end of the term. It’s almost the last chance to just focus on simple living – at this stage I’m trying hard to not consider what the other end of this term looks like and the looming THING that is Christmas. Too much thinking about it sees me cowering in the corner in a fetal position, overwhelmed by thoughts of lists and presents and family and tired kids and fancy cooking.

On a brighter note, the Spring term sees a new flush of fresh produce that is perfectly suited to lunchboxes. Oranges and tangelos are still good, but pineapple improves. Berries should stay cheap for a while and you can also add in sugar snap peas and green beans (which are great with homous).

Happy learning!

A little bit of lunchbox fun.

A little bit of lunchbox fun.

Egg-free chocolate bran slice

2 tbsp black chia seeds (black blend in better)
1 1/2 cups All bran cereal
1 cup dessicated coconut
1 cup self-raising flour
1/2 cup brown sugar (coconut sugar is ok here)
3 tbsp cocoa or cacao powder
1/2 cup sultanas
1 cup frozen berries, thawed
1 overripe banana, mashed
100g butter, melted

Dark chocolate melts (optional)

Preheat the oven to 180C. Line an 18x28cm baking tray with baking paper.

Soak your chia seeds in 2 tbsp warm water for 10 minutes.

In a large bowl, combine the bran, coconut, flour, sugar, cocoa and sultanas.

Combine the berries, banana and chia seed mix in another bowl. Tip this into the dry mix. Also add in the butter and use a metal spoon to combine everything well.

Press the mixture in your prepared pan. Bake for 18-20 minutes until firm and starting to brown on top.

Set aside to cool. Slice into 16 bars. If you like, melt the dark chocolate and drizzle over the top.

Makes 16 pieces.

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Can’t cook? Or too tired to cook? Try this.

Now where is this year going? And how did this term slip by so quickly! I don’t know about you, but for us this last week or two of term is a bit fraught. Possibly the cupboards are empty, the kids are tired and motivation is low. But there’s no need to hang up the healthy food towel. Before you dial a takeaway, make the most of your pantry stash. This shakshouska, is way cool and is more compiling than cooking. Served with a bit of bread, it keeps everyone in my house pretty happy.

A nice alternative to toasties or baked beans.

A nice alternative to toasties or baked beans – and just as easy.

Pantry tuna shakshouka

Younger kids might like a version of this with just a few spoonfuls of tomato, an egg and scattered ham.

800g crushed tomatoes
180g tuna in oil (with chilli, too, if your family like it)
4 spring onions (I’ve usually got some hiding in the bottom of the crisper drawer)
1/3 cup roasted capsicums (also tip in a bit of the flavoured oil)
Sprinkling of capers (if you like them)
4 eggs

To serve: parsley (from the garden), salt, pepper, sourdough (for dipping).

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Place your individual dishes or ramekins on a baking tray (to make handling easier).

Divide the ingredients between your dishes, in quantities that will suit each diner. Finally, scoop a bit of a dent in the mix and quickly crack in an egg.

Bake for 15-25 minutes until the eggs are cooked to your liking.

Serves 4

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